Q and A
I have compiled a series of questions and answers in hopes that it will give you a view of the work, my philosophy, and the process of sexual awakening and relationship transformation. Please feel free to submit your own questions.
What can I expect? What does a session look and feel like?
The sessions are experiential and move at your own pace. Body-based sex coaching and relationship therapy for individuals, couples, men, women, and open relationships. I am here as your guide. You are here to self-actualize! Committed, erotic sexual interplay and deep connection take skill and awareness – opening you up to a secret world where you are most alive. This is the ultimate goal of our work together.
We begin the first session by getting to know one another and starting your coaching from your present state. Couples, I am especially careful to allow each person to share and be fully heard. I will help you gain the tools to speak your truth, speak up for yourself and not for your partner. All sessions are safe, private and confidential.
Depending on what’s comfortable and needed in the moment, our work together may include touch, physical play, eye gazing, and body awareness through breath work, role play, physical boundary awareness, cuddling, and holding.
Some exercises are more comfortable with “light” shedding of clothing depending only on what feels appropriate and freeing to you.
We work from where you are. You will learn volumes about giving and receiving. You will get to practice asking for what you want and addressing personal boundaries. From this safe, shame-free, held place, you will have room for your deepest desires, fears, and truest self to come forth. Sessions are clothed, gentle, empowering, and fun.
What will we accomplish?
To take your life to the next level of sexual and self-discovery, it is essential that you are willing to:
- Be fully present and engaged in your experience.
- Work toward total self-acceptance. A direct benefit: Your partner will feel more confident in meeting your desires.
- Give generously, but only within agreed upon boundaries.
- Approach your life and your loves passionately, candidly, and fiercely.
- Uncover your true nature and heal the wounds that hold you back – first. Then you will be ready and able to launch into exquisite, impassioned, and steamy sex! During each session, you will be protected and accepted. I encourage you to ease into the experience, follow your natural rhythm, and then completely let go. By listening carefully to your body, you will learn what it needs most: sensual, gentle, playful, kinky, and invigorating to soothing, profound, immersive, and enlightening. Emotional release is often part of the growth process.
How do I manage feelings of insecurity, protectiveness, fear, dissatisfaction, resentment, or aloneness with regard to my connections and sexuality?
The first thing you need to know – for sure – is that you have a safe place to talk about anything and everything. Paying attention to your feelings, identifying the root cause, and expressing your innermost thoughts are the first steps to recovery. Know too that you are the captain of your own sexuality. As a fully individuated adult, you have the power to decide who you want to engage with, as well as when, where, and what you want to do!
Come alone or come with your partner. No matter how confused, scared, or stuck you may feel about yourself or your sexuality, be assured that clarity and transformation are within reach.
You will learn that every emotion has a sensation in a different part of your body. As we identify the physical reactions your body is experiencing, you will discover that emotions are very much allowed and necessary. Once aware, you will learn to be more accepting of your, your partners, and others emotions.
Envision yourself as whole and complete, loving and lovable. We all feel desire and wish to be desired. See and be seen. You are worth it!
I can’t remember the last time my partner and I had sex. I feel obligated to have sex with my partner. What should I do?
There are many reasons why men and women suffer from low sexual desire and drive, including past and present issues in your relationship, body image concerns, erectile challenges, social messages, hormonal changes, past abuse, exhaustion, or feeling overwhelmed.
We often become passive, confused, and fearful about discussing a lack of desire for sex. In the work we do together, you will be able to identify the demons and roadblocks that are standing in the way of feeling erotic pleasure, aroused, sexy, confident, safe, and connected.
You will learn how to offer love and acceptance to those parts of your body that you have been unkind to. You will learn how to create an open, direct dialogue so you can ask for the time, fantasies, touch, and communication necessary to achieve the most fulfilled sexual pleasure – without fear, guilt, or resentment. In our work together, you will discover how to give your sexuality a voice, as well as learn to trust and listen to that voice.
I am ashamed of my sexuality. I’m scared and uncomfortable talking about sex. Is there hope for me?
The short answer is yes! We are taught early on, from the media and friends to family dynamics, to shut the Libido down and ignore our erotic temperament, to silence fantasies and desires and to see sexuality in one dimension. In turn, this alters how we look at, talk about, experience and express our sexuality. All this cultural conditioning reinforces us to go against our true sexual wants and desires. In our work together, you will learn how to be present and connected to your body so you can reframe and expand your sexuality. A healthy, pleasurable mindset around your sexuality will keep you motivated, fulfilled, and successful in every aspect of your life.
In this private, safe container of trust, truth, and acceptance, we will learn how to speak our shame and begin to heal and release those moments when we were shamed or silenced by others and society. The Somatica method provides the opportunity to access empathy and compassion for you. Making room for this kind of acceptance helps wipe away a lifetime of inhibition and fear.